Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
