I skipped work to stalk him.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
