Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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