Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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