I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
