I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize