Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think I just sharted jello shots
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