Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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