Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
