What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he puts the penis in happiness.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
