don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
