I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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