sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
