i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
