i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
