Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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