dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize