dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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