i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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