True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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