i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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