Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
