cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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