Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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