why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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