morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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