Soap is not a condiment
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
