There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
