Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize