i think my mom watched the whole time
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
