Plan B is the new Plan A
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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