There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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