Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
