If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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