You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
