then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Found your dick twin last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
