this beer tastes like vomit already
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
