matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize