u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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