Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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