Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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