found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
