you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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