I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
