She said her name was "party"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
