just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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