Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
