When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
