Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have already put on my inside pants.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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