OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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