Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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