apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
