I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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