i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
