wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
