The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
