I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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