Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
