what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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