I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize