erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just google imaged poop.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
