Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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